


Still Hear the Children Playing

by Megalomaniacal



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-31 18:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12688035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalomaniacal/pseuds/Megalomaniacal
Summary: This is gonna be a bunch of tiny drabbles abt the twins as kids in no particular order. Every chapter will just be another lil blab abt them.Could I make this into a collection and post them separately? Yes. Am I going to? No.





	1. Angry Little Dudes

**Author's Note:**

> These chapters are all just blabs abt the twins as tiny humans tbh they're legit in no particular order okay  
> Idk I just like writing abt the gang when they were innocent kids and not yet crazy traumatized incestual alcoholic druggies   
> I like writing abt them when they're like that too tho but u get what I mean  
> So here's some angry twins

Their parents were fighting again. 

'Again' wasn't exactly the right word, as they never stopped fighting in the first place, except when Frank would storm out of the house to go on some sort of business trip where he was likely just banging whores and snorting coke. Maybe at five years of age, the twins should've have known what whores and cocaine were, but they heard their parents screaming about it enough. 

They had a specific spot in Dee's room where they'd go to calm down, hidden beneath a pink blanket fort in the corner, guarded by stuffed animals. Dennis would bring one of his blankets and Dee would curl up against his side and they'd whisper to each other to try and block out the sound of their parents screaming downstairs. 

"Why do they keep fighting?" Dennis whimpered, seeming to shrink further down to the floor each time he heard their mother's voice. 

"It's 'cause they're b-b-bitches." Dee grumbled, her face twisted up into an ugly expression, eyes red and puffy from crying earlier. Dennis let out a tiny gasp, eyes widening at the curse word. 

"Dee. Dee, you can't say that." He whined. 

"Well mommy calls me a b.. a bitch, so I'm gonna-"

"Dee!" Dennis tugged at a strand of her long blonde hair, causing her to screech. There was a momentary pause in the shouting match downstairs but it didn't last for long. 

"What? She calls me an ugly, snotty bitch and she tells you that daddy has sex with bitches and who- whores." Dee crossed her tiny arms over her chest, scooting a few inches away from her twin. "You're jus' mad 'cause you're mommy's favorite, but you're actually a bitch."

Dennis scrunched his face up in a way that most grumpy five year olds did when they weren't getting what they wanted. "Am not! Mommy and daddy both hate you because you're ugly and mean!" He tugged at her hair again, earning a smack in the face as his twin sister screeched. 

"You're ugly and mean! You're ugly and mean!" She shouted, shoving him back toward the wall over and over. "You're ugly and mean! Ugly! Mean! You're- you're a bitch! Dennis is an ugly mean bitch!" 

He screamed and shoved her back, the blanket fort collapsing on top of them. Dee threw off the blanket, climbing on top of her twin brother and punching him with her tiny fist. "You're ugly and a meanie and I hate you!" 

Dennis wailed when her fist hit his nose, scrunching his eyes up tight. 

"Baby! You're a dumb baby!" Dee shouted as Dennis continued wailing, tears sliding down his pink cheeks. He reached up to grab her hair in his fists, tugging at it while she kept trying to punch him in the nose, shouting high-pitched insults. 

"Children!"

They both froze at the sound of Barbara's voice, sitting up to look at her. Dee shrunk away, pulling her knees up to her chest, while Dennis pointed to her. "Dee was beatin' me up!" 

"Poor thing." Barbara cooed, the cold look on her face unmoving as she picked up her crying son. "Deandra. You're already hideous, dear, you should at least try to act in a more attractive manner. You're going to end up alone once you're older, you know." She sighed dramatically and carried Dennis out. 

Dee sniffled, rubbing her nose on the back of her hand and looking back at the ruined blanket fort. Her mom was always saying stuff about when she got older, but she didn't care about getting older. She liked playing with stuffed animals. She didn't want to drink and swallow pills and argue with men all the time like her mother did.


	2. Happy Little Dudes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins' dialogue isn't going to be grammatically correct. They're 5.

Dennis always came to Dee's room during storms. She slept soundly through them, but nearly always woke from her brother sniffling and crying as he crawled into bed next to her. Sometimes she'd pretend to be asleep, other times she'd comfort him. Most of the time it was the latter. 

"Dennis?" Dee poked at the messy curls on top of his head. "You're gettin' my pillow all wet." A loud boom of thunder echoed through the house and she felt Dennis flinch and scoot closer to her. It was already hot, as was expected in the middle of summer, and Dennis was like a tiny ball of heat hidden against her. 

He flinched again as thunder boomed outside and lightning lit up the room, whimpering and trying to hide his face in Dee's shoulder. She poked his curls again as he wiped his nose on her pajama shirt. "Den, yuck! Gross!"

"It hurted my ears, Dee." He whimpered, eyes scrunched shut. He hated loud noises. They didn't bother her, she was already used to hearing her parents scream- which was louder than any thunder she'd ever heard. 

"You're a baby." She grumbled, shoving the blankets down. She tugged at his arm as she sat up, moving to get off the bed. "C'mon, Den!" 

His blue eyes were wide with fear when he opened them, face wet from snot and tears. She kept dragging him to the corner of her room, pulling him under the covers of the pink blanket fort. Once underneath, she shoved a bunch of tissues into his face. He grabbed the clump and shoved them up to his nose, jumping again at the next clap of thunder. 

Dee reached into one of the pillowcases on the pillows laying on the floor of the fort, pulling out a handful of wrapped chocolates and handing half of them to Dennis before shoving a bunch in her own mouth, storing them in her cheek like a chipmunk. Dennis giggled a little, sniffling as he put the tissues down and put a chocolate in his mouth. 

"You're such a baby." Dee teased, the words muffled by her mouthful of chocolate. 

"Am not!" He argued, furrowing his eyebrows. "I told you! It hurted! my ears!"

She giggled, swallowing her mouthful of chocolate when the thunder sounded once again. 

"Mommy says I got sensitive ears 'cause I'm a gentleman." Dennis crossed his arms and pouted. "You're- youse is a bad lady."

"Youse? Stop trying to sound like daddy." Dee wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue. "Yuck."

"I'm not!"

"You're copying daddy! You're gonna get big and fat and bald!" Dee squealed, looking pleased with herself as she laughed. Dennis whined, stomping his foot as best he could while sitting down. 

"You're gonna be an ugly old lady!" He argued. "You're gonna have warts and a crooked nose!" 

Dee just laughed harder and Dennis's angry scowl started to crack until he was giggling and laughing with her. 

"Daddy's a fat bald man!" Dee squealed, making Dennis laugh even louder. "He's- he's like a hippopotamus!"

"With fake hair!" Dennis added, leaning against her. He was too busy laughing to even notice the next clap of thunder. 

The twins were lying on the floor laughing by the time the storm was done. The next morning, Barbara would come in and yell at them for sleeping on the floor. Neither of them really cared.


	3. Very Expensive Play Fashion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love these babies

Barbara and Frank left their five year old children home alone far more often than any parents would. Sometimes the twins would wake up and realize they were home alone. Somehow, their house wasn't burned down, and neither of the twins were dead. 

On the other hand, Dennis and Dee had found their mother's makeup supply. They'd laid out one of Dee's red blankets like a rug in the hallway, stuffed animals sitting at the end of it. Their mom's closet door was wide open, her dresses and shoes all over the floor in piles that the twins had made. 

"You'll look fabulous." Dee informed Dennis in her best French accent, replicating a woman she'd seen on television and causing him to giggle as she brushed the pink tinted blush onto his cheeks. "Up and comin' model, Dennis Reynolds." 

"I want red, Dee!" He exclaimed as she dropped the blush down on the counter and reached for the tubes of lipstick. She tossed a bunch aside until she finally got to the red, standing on her tip-toes to reach where Dennis was sitting on the bathroom counter. She applied it to his lips as neatly as a child could, clapping her hands together when she was done. 

"Did you hear that famous fashion man Mister Tibbs is going to be watching the show?" Dee asked as she dramatically capped the lipstick and set it down, grabbing at one of their mother's expensive eyeshadow palettes. Dennis gasped even more dramatically, holding up a hand to his chest. 

"Mister Tibbs is here to watch my fashion show?" He put on his best surprised face and tried not to giggle. "Deandra, we need to look the very best!" 

"Exactly!" She agreed, nodding enthusiastically as she smeared a finger in the gold eyeshadow and then smeared it on her brother's face, beaming at the sight of his sparkly eyelids. "Beautiful!" She picked up a tube of mascara, doing her best to not poke Dennis in the eye as she put it on his lashes. 

"Deandra, we need to get you ready, too!" Dennis dramatically clutched his hand to his chest. "We must put on the very best show!"

Dee's face lit up with childish glee as she nodded, Dennis getting down from the counter to start smearing purple eyeshadow on her lids, putting bright purple lipstick on her lips to match. He put on liberal amounts of blush and mascara but looked overall pleased with his work. 

"We look fabulous." He decided as they stood side-by-side in front of the mirror, makeup smeared all over their small hands. Dee gave him a crooked grin, lipstick smeared on her teeth, and he couldn't help but giggle and smile back. In reality, it looked like they scribbled all over each other in crayon, but to them it looked absolutely amazing. 

Dee pushed Dennis out of the way so that she could wash her hands first and run to the closet, digging through her mom's dresses. Dennis ran in soon after her, laughing as he plopped down onto his butt atop a pile of clothes. 

"I'm gonna wear purple!" Dee exclaimed, holding up a shiny purple dress that likely cost more than the hospital stay leading up to her birth. It was silk- not that she cared- and she took off her pink pajamas to put it on, laughing when it went down past her feet and dragged on the floor. She grabbed an expensive pair of heels to go with it, sliding her tiny feet in and wobbling around the closet, making her twin brother clap his hands and laugh.

"Dee, Dee! Help me pick!" He demanded, grin widening when she moved to kneel on the floor and dig through the clothes with him. She held up one of their mother's expensive genuine fur coats. 

"This! Dennis, wear this!" She tossed it at him and he nodded quickly, putting his tiny arms into the long sleeved and buttoning it up overtop his pajamas. It was huge, dragging on the floor when he stood up, even when he stepped into a pair of his mother's stiletto heels. 

"Do I look fabulous?" Dennis asked, striking a ridiculous pose in attempt to make Dee laugh. Her whole face scrunched up, turning pink as she laughed, trying not to fall over in her heels. 

"The most fabulous! Come on! Mister Tibbs is waiting!" 

Dennis went onto the carpet first, stumbling but not falling over completely, striking an arrangement of ridiculous poses on his walk down the hall. He waved to his stuffed elephant, smiling wide, before turning and walking back to Dee. She walked on the second Dennis stepped off the blanket, trying to strut but just stumbling like her brother, blowing kisses and striking ridiculous poses at the end. 

Dennis was sitting on the floor, giggling and clapping his hands when Dee walked back and she quickly joined him, throwing her shoes down the hall. "We are models, Dennis!" 

"The very best models. Dennis and Dee models." Dennis agreed, grinning wide. They spent the rest of their afternoon sitting in that hallway, wearing their mom's oversized clothes and laughing until Frank came home and yelled at them to clean up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is poorly written but basically the twins r little demon babies to other kids

Barbara and Frank never physically abused their children. Both often expressed the desire to, but as Barbara said, Dee was ugly enough without physical deformities and Dennis was "too fragile" to be hit. Despite this, the twins had no problem at all with beating the shit out of each other. 

Two of their friends from preschool were over at their house, but they weren't really the twins' friends- rather, Barbara was friends with their rich parents. Dee didn't like them one bit. She hated the girl's curly brown hair and the boy's big, stupid nose. Dennis didn't like them either, and when the twins were faced with the same issue, they joined together. 

The three moms had kicked them out of the family room were the twins had been stealing mints off of the coffee table. 

"Dennis and I don't want to play with you." Dee crossed her arms, stomping her foot against the floor outside her bedroom. 

The other little girl frowned. "My mommy said that you would play with us! She said you had lots of toys-"

"Yeah, we have lots of toys." Dennis interrupted in the most snooty tone a five year old could muster. "We. Not you." He stood next to his sister, nose pointed up in the air. 

"We wouldn't take them, we just wanna play." The boy whined, looking down at his socks. 

"Well we don't." Dee huffed, turning to go with Dennis into her room. The other two children followed, much to the twins' annoyance, and when Dee and Dennis sat down to play with stuffed animals, the brunette reached over to pick one up, too. 

"No!" Dennis shouted. She'd grabbed his stuffed elephant Mr. Tibbs before he could. "Give me him!"

"You need to share!" The girl whined. 

"He's mine! Give me him now!"

"No!"

Dee turned to the girl, rage displayed across her features as she lunged at her, scratching across her cheek. The other girl screamed and dropped Mr. Tibbs, who Dennis quickly snatched from the floor. 

"You're a stealer!" Dee yelled. "Stealer, stealer... potato peeler!" 

"I'm telling my mommy you scratched me!" The girl wailed. 

"Well I'm telling my mommy that you're a stealer!" Dee yelled. 

Dennis nodded in agreement. "Stealer! Ugly stealer! Ugly stealer baby!" He shouted, getting louder and more excited as the other little girl cried more and Dee joined in. 

"Stealer! Stealer!" Dee chanted, clapping her tiny hands together. 

All four of the children froze when loud footsteps started to approach their door and three women appeared and the doorway. Barbara Reynolds looked down at them in disgust and Dennis instantly burst into tears, pointed at the curly haired girl. 

"She tried to steal Mister Tibbs, mommy! She tried to steal him, an' Dee tried to get him from her but she hit Dee and called us mean names!" Dennis bawled, the girl looking up at the parents with wide eyes and wet cheeks. 

"No I didn't! They scratched me!" She argued. 

Dee began fake crying as well, hugging her twin brother's arm. "She hurted us, mommy!"

Barbara quickly turned to the other two women standing behind her. "Get your disgusting, filthy children out of my home. Now." She snapped, both of them looking at her in shock before rushing to pick up their children and get out. Barbara sighed, showing them to the door before returning to Dee's room where the children were giggling in the corner. 

"Dennis, Deandra." Barbara drawled, sighing deeply. "Please wait a little longer before throwing a screaming fit next time, would you? We were just beginning to discuss Dolores's husband's affair. It's such a bore having to drive them away so early." She closed the door behind her when she walked out, leaving the twins to burst into another round of giggles. 

The Reynolds twins hated each other, but they hated outsiders even more.


End file.
